Episode 50: Tyler’s Return

Hi everyone, today’s episode is a wee bit different to normal…. More like a follow on from the ‘Signs from the Other Side’ episode I did about a month past. I read a post in a group that I occasionally visit online, that immediately leapt out at me and really touched me. And I right away thought that in these times of uncertainty, also knowing that many of my listeners have lost loved ones to this plague that the world is dealing with, and the likelihood is, that before this is all over many of us will have lost a loved one, a work colleague, or an acquaintance to this virus.

Because of this; I felt My guest’s touching and very loving experiences might bring comfort to some of you who are grieving at this point in time and it may help you to know that our loved ones live on albeit without a physical body. To anyone in this situation at the moment this episode is for you all. So let’s walk together into this part of the shadowlands and see what awaits us there.

My guest today is Deb, a forty-seven-year-old mother of five from Michigan, in the United States. Her oldest child is twenty-eight and her youngest is eight years old. Debs is a nurse and has always worked in this field.  An area she naturally gravitated to out of a desire to help and heal others. A very social person, Debs found nursing a perfect outlet for her personality and her desires to help others. She also does a lot of volunteer work and paints rocks as a hobby in her down time. What she does with the rocks she paints, is that she takes them out into her community and leaves them in places around her local dam, for the children to find and post on FB when they find them. Which is really really cute idea. These days Deb has a great interest in paranormal things, in part as a result of her own paranormal experiences. Some of which are the subject of today’s episode.

Please be aware, parts of this conversation are very raw, and in some parts Deb’s pain is very obvious. I have not edited anything in this conversation, as that would be doing her and Tyler both an injustice, in my opinion. I know several times in our conversation I found myself crying along with Debs. So this conversation is raw and unedited, sniffs, clearing throats.  ums and all, which is not normally how I leave them. But, I really felt this is how this one needed to be kept.

Tyler’s Return

Deb: I had met the love of my life, Tyler Williams, his name was. It was an immediate attraction and we just fell head over heals in love with each other. I have never in my life felt that immensely in love with somebody. Like, I felt drunk with love. I’ve never felt that before in my life. We had such an unbreakable bond. He could read my mind. I knew what he was thinking. We’d finish each other’s sentences within a very short period of time we were together.

So we knew after maybe six months that we wanted to get married, so we flew to…. We didn’t do a big wedding. Neither of us had been married before. We didn’t want to do a big wedding, so we actually eloped and flew to Hawaii to get married on the beach at sunset. And it was perfect! And it was beautiful. And oh my gosh can you imagine the flowers and the aroma? And just the love in the air? It was just perfect. So we had this gorgeous, absolutely perfect wedding.  

So we were together for not a very long time. Like, I feel cheated because I didn’t get to be with him for the rest of my life. You know what I mean? Because um…. He was taken away, way too soon from me. So with our love we created this beautiful child, named Blake Tyler Williams and he was born in nineteen-ninety-eight, Blake was. And he… oh gosh, he’s just a beautiful, beautiful child. He looks exactly like his father. He even sounds like him too, now that he’s a grown man. And Tyler loved our son so much. I mean, just with all of his heart.

So one day, in two-thousand and four our son Blake was having a little concert at his school. Like a play they were doing. And his father had gone over to a friend of his house. To look at this new motorcycle or crotch-rocket they call them, ‘cause, they go super fast. He went over there to look at his buddy’s new motorcycle he just got.

But now, unbeknownst to his friend my husband crawled – got onto that motorcycle. He, thank god, put a helmet on first. But, he got on that motorcycle when his friend went into the house to answer a phone call. And he took off on it and took it for a test drive. Why he did this? None of us know. He wasn’t experienced with motorcycles. He had never been on a motorcycle before. He didn’t grow up riding dirt bike, or motorcycles. So none of us know why he chose to jump on this very fast motorcycle, this day and take it for a test drive? Because, he certainly had no idea what he was doing with it. My husband was only twenty-seven years old when this happened, so very…. A relatively young man. And so, witnesses have told us what happened and what they witnessed of the crash.

He was going too fast down a one-way street and a car pulled onto the street, coming at him. And, he lost control of the motorcycle and started…. It started, like fish-tailing and bobbing from side to side. And he didn’t have any way to slow it down, ‘cause, he didn’t know what he was doing. And he ended up serving to miss the car that was coming at him, and he ultimately…. I’m sorry…. He ultimately hit a parked van that was on the street, just parked. He hit the van extremely fast and hard. And, it ended up breaking his neck and it crushed the whole right side of his body. His body went sliding in one direction and the motorcycle went flying in another direction. People ran to his aid right away. But, there was really nothing they could do because his neck had been broken and it severed his spinal cord, so they couldn’t save him.

And the night that it happened me and Blake, and the rest of Blake’s family had gotten home from Blake’s play at school and we’re all settling in for the night. And, I got a phone call. Nine-fourteen in the evening to be exact. And it was Tyler’s mother calling me and she…. These were the words that she said to me. She said “Deb. Tyler’s gone! He was in a terrible motorcycle accident tonight and he passed away!”

And, at first it didn’t register with me. It was like a thought bubble that was just kind of like hanging in the air, because, I didn’t retain it right away. And immediately after she said that he had died, she said: “Please Deb, don’t take Blake away from us.” And I thought to myself, what would make her think that I would take my son away from his grandmother? Like, I was just dumbfounded that she would say that and I, I asked her where was he? Like, where did they take his body to? Where did they take him to work on him?

And she told me the name of the hospital and that they were all going to head over to the hospital. Meaning her, Tyler’s Mother and his sisters were going to head to the hospital also. And I told her I would be there shortly. Well, by the time I had found a neighbour to watch my other children and to watch my son Blake and to go to the hospital, when I pulled in they were already walking out. And said, “It’s no use going in there, they won’t let you see him. He’s gone! There’s nothing they could do. They won’t let you in there.” So I didn’t get to see my husband. Probably a good thing I didn’t get to see him, because, nobody wants images like that as being the last thing that you saw. I was angry at the time, because, I really did wanna go in there and be with him, but they wouldn’t let me, so…

I returned home. Woke our son up, because, he was only five years old. Our little boy was only five years old. And, I woke our son up, ‘cause, he was sleeping, and I had to break the news to him. And hearing my son cry like that broke my heart so badly. I could see how badly he was hurting, like he, he was in disbelief and he had lots of questions. Being a little five-year-old of course, he had so many questions. Like, what does it mean? Will I see him again?  And does this mean, you know, he’s not going to take me to the store anymore? Does this mean I can’t hug him anymore? You know? Stuff like that.

So he had these questions for me and he just hugged me so tight. We just sat there on his bed and cried for hours. I mean literally hours. And I didn’t sleep at all that night, of course. Then it was all the planning for the funeral and going and picking out coffins. And, you just feel numb when that happens, ‘cause, I was so grief-stricken. It’s like, who wants to pick out coffins? When all you can think about is your dead husband laying, not even feet away from you. So then the funeral come and it was an open casket. And I had to be picked up off the floor. When I walked in and saw him laying there in the casket, I just felt weak and I needed someone to help pick me up off the floor. It was really difficult to go through that.

Marianne: I’m sorry.

So, I mean, I …. During this time, I like was kind of angry at God, you know? Just kind of yelling and screaming at him. Like, how could you? How could you take him from me? And, you know things like that. I was kind of really angry and bitter with God. I’ve now since worked all that out. But, I was angry for a really long time about that because, I feel as though my husband left us. Like, I didn’t think that I would have to live in this world, without him with me and our son. So, I had to figure out how to live without him. And, it…. It was really hard.  It…. It’s still hard. I obviously still get emotional from it, talking about it.

How could you not hon? How could you not?

And, it’s been…. It’s been sixteen years since he passed away. It seems like a long time ago. But, I visit his grave quite regularly and I always talk to him out loud. Always! I mean, if somebody saw what I do in my house alone, they’d think I was bonkers. Because, I would just think of him and then I’d just start talking out loud to him as if he’s standing in the same room with me. But, of course, he’s not. But, it comforts me to do that, so I don’t mind if people think I’m weird for doing that. It’s just my way of coping, you know?

But you know….

Getting into the ghost aspect of this. The paranormal stuff is, we lived in this very beautiful late eighteen-hundreds, early nineteen-hundreds farm house. It was quite large. It had six bedrooms. It had been completely remodeled on the inside, so it was modern and new and it was in the country. And, we had lived in this house for a couple of years before he passed away. So, you know, people are used to the sounds in the house. They know the creaks when somebody walks on the floor. Stuff like that. You know what your house surroundings sound like.

Well about…. I’m gonna say, three to four months after he passed away, things started happening in our house, big time. Like they weren’t subtle. It was pretty obvious stuff was going on. It just, it just didn’t add up. It took me only a short time to realize it was him, but…. So, at first it started out with anytime me, or our son Blake…. And I had other children at the time, so it never pertained to them at all. It only happened to myself, or Blake. The son that I have with Tyler.

It started off with …. The lights started blinking and noticeably and annoyingly. They started blinking. And, I’m like what in the heck’s going on? You know? Are my lamps on the fritz? Do I need to buy new lamps? Then that turned into it was happening in the whole house. TV turning on and off by itself. Radio turning on and off by itself. And then, that escalated into if me and my son Blake would walk into a room, the light bulb would completely burst! I mean break! And I would have to…. I mean, it’s very difficult to unscrew a light bulb that’s broken.  

 Hmm, it is.

I thought, oh my gosh, I need to call an electrician or something. Maybe there’s something wrong with the wiring in my house? I was worried about it being a fire hazard. Things like that, because, it kept…. I was literally changing bulbs daily in my house, because, they were busting that often. I thought gosh, what in the world is going on?

So, that happened for about a good month, I wanna say. And then, that evolved into things started being moved around my house. I could be sitting in a chair, watching TV and my remote control would be right next to my arm and I would look down a few minutes later and it would be gone! I’m like what the heck? You know you, kind of look all around look under the chair. You know you didn’t touch it. It’s gone! Only to find it a couple of days later – in another room! Just bizarre stuff like that.

Then things…. We could…. We started to see things physically move on their own! A couple of times we had pictures fall off the wall. There’d be nothing wrong with the hook, like the picture frame would physically have to be lifted up off the hook, in order to fall to the ground. Nothing ever broke. Like the glass never broke. Nothing violent. It was just kind of like it was lifted up off of what it was hanging on and dropped to the ground. We saw books come off the bookshelf. Not violently. Like, it didn’t fly across the entire room and hit the wall on the other side. Just like a couple of feet away from the bookshelf it would fall down.  

The most profound things we saw move…. One particular day I come up from our basement and was walking through my kitchen and I had a very expensive camcorder. Of course back in two-thousand and four, camcorders were pretty expensive. And, I used mine quite a bit and it was sitting on a kitchen counter I had. So, as I’m walking by it I glanced over at it, so my eyeballs are looking right at this camcorder. I saw it lift up off the counter and it literally come flying at me! Well, instead of catching it, which I should have done. It kind of freaked me out and I panicked. So I dodged it and it ended up falling to the ground. Thank god it didn’t break, but I thought, wow! I have never seen anything like that before in my life. And, at this point I’m thinking it wasn’t Tyler, like at this point of these things happening, it, I didn’t make the connection yet that it was him.

Right.

And another thing that happened was ah…. Ah during this time, I cried. I cried so much. I didn’t think a human body could cry that much and stay hydrated or survive. Like literally, I would lay on the ground, during the day when my kids were at school and I would just cry for hours, uncontrollably. And one of these particular days, I happened to be in the shower and I had soap in my hair. And, I was just bawling my eyes out. Uncontrollably, having a complete nervous breakdown, wondering how I’m going to pick up the pieces of my shattered life and move on?

So I had soap in my hair. I’m trying to wash it out of my hair and all of a sudden, I hear this creepy giggle for a few seconds and I almost jumped out of the shower, a foot high. I mean, I almost had a heart attack and died. ‘Cause, I knew I was at home alone. I did not expect to hear any noises coming from anywhere in my vicinity. And, after I scrubbed the soap out of my hair as fast as I possibly could, I looked down and there was this toy in the bathtub. That I knew, made the noise.

It belonged to my daughter and she had gotten it in a McDonalds happy meal. And, it happened to be a little Nemo fish. And if you touched its little fin, it would make that same giggling noise. But, this toy was a tub toy, because, it had stopped working, like years prior to this event. There were no batteries in it. The thing that made it giggle was broken. It hadn’t worked in years. That’s why it was a tub toy.

So, I picked this thing up. Knowing that, that sound came from this little toy. And, I’m pushing it. Pushing the fin, shaking it, nothing’s happening! So I quickly got out of the shower and found a screwdriver and completely dismantled this entire toy. Looking for reasons why it would have made this creepy sounding giggle. I mean, this giggle went on for seconds. It was just the creepiest thing ever. There was no reason or explanation as to why this thing should be giggling at me like that. I actually still have that Nemo toy on a shelf, in my bedroom. I kept it. Because, you know, after I realized it was Tyler who did it, wanting me to know he was there, of course I wanted to keep that as a memento, of sorts. So it’s actually sitting on a shelf in my bedroom. And it has not giggled again to this day and it’s sixteen years later and that toy has not giggled once since that incident.

Ok so, that happened and then another, another day…. And this is going to sound kind of terrible, so I’ll try and keep it PG, ‘cause, it’s a bathroom story. One day…. And this was during the summer at this point. Tyler passed away in April and now this is June, July, I wanna say, after he…. Or maybe a little bit later in the summer. It was so warm outside, so maybe it was like August, September? And the kids were back at school and I was again home alone, during the day. And, I had a dog that’s a boxer and he was about two years old when this happened. And so, I went into the bathroom to do my business. Ok? If you know what I’m talking about? So, I’m sitting there…. And you know how animals always want to be by their owners when they’re in the bathroom doing their business?

Yes, I do.

So there tags along my little dog and he, well, he wasn’t so little. And, he’s sitting right at my feet while I’m in the bathroom doing my business, my morning business. The dog is sitting there. My bathroom door’s wide open, ‘cause, I’m home alone. Like why would you close the door if you’re home alone? So, as I’m sitting there my dog all of a sudden perks up, stands up and all of the hair on his back completely raises. And, he starts growling.

And I’m like woah! Wait a minute. I’ve had this dog and raised it from a puppy for two years and I’ve never heard this dog growl. Never! Not ever once in it’s life, have I ever heard this dog growl. So then, all of a sudden, he started slowly creeping toward the door of the bathroom that was wide open. And, I’m like oh wow. And then all the hairs on my entire body stood on end. And mind you, I’m trapped on the toilet, ‘cause, I haven’t done my paper work yet – if you know what I’m talking about?

So, I’m kind of panicking, because, here I am sitting in a vulnerable position and my dog is slowly creeping towards the door growling like I’ve never heard him growl before. So then he pokes his head around the corner and manages to work his way out into the hallway, and he’s facing my master bedroom. He’s facing my master bedroom and the dog just stays there. And, I can see his head moving back and forth as if he’s looking at something. And then…. And I kept my eyes peeled right at the door, because, I felt as if there were something in there. Like I could feel it, all the hairs on my body and everything.

It felt like static electricity all through my body and so the dog is growling at my door. And before I know it, I see this giant, black shadow cross in front of my door way in my bedroom, ok? So the windows in my bedroom were illuminating into the hallway and something crossed in front of them, that was completely like a shadow, in the shape of a human being. And, I almost had a heart attack! I…. ‘Cause, there was somebody in my house! You see a shadow in the shape of a giant man and the dog is looking at it and growling at it, you…. I’ve never done my paperwork on the toilet so fast before in my life!  

I was trying to pull up my drawers and running out into the hallway as fast as I possibly could…. And, when I did step into my bedroom, it was cold…. Like it felt really cold in there and there was this static electricity kind of feeling in the air, that I’d never felt in the house before. And, of course, there was nobody there Marianne! There was nobody …. And, it was cold in there, despite it being very hot outside, like and eighty degrees plus day outside and sunshiny during the day.

So it creeped me out so badly, that I went and investigated the rest of my entire house, to see if I was for sure there alone. And, yes I was. And still at this point, I’m not really making the connection. Putting two and two together, that this is Tyler, trying to contact me. I’d never had experiences like this in the house before he died. None of this stuff ever happened in the house before he died.  So…. So that was that day. That was exciting.

That would have been pretty scary.

And, shortly after that, me and my children. At the time I had four children at this time. When he died, I had four children. And, I was reading my children a book, as I often did at night, before they would get ready for bed. And, we’re all sitting in my bedroom…. Excuse me, we’re all sitting in my bedroom, on my bed and I’m reading them this book. And, we hear a knock on the door. And, because the house is so large, it took a little while to get to the downstairs and all that stuff. So, we heard the door bell ring and a knock on the door. Which was unusual, because, it was around nine o’clock at night. And I’m like, hey can you guys run down there and see who that is? I was just planning on staying in my room, waiting for them to come back.

Well, once they got down there, they started hollering at me to come down, because, it was in fact, our neighbour who had a question for me. Or something. So I was like, oh sure. So I saved the page in the book that we had left off on and I reached over and actually placed the book down on my bedside table, and walked downstairs. Proceeded to talk to my neighbour. So then, after she left we turned around to go back up to my bedroom to continue the book. And, I was the first person back into my bedroom. I sat down on my bed, looked over at my side table to grab the book, to continue reading it. And, to my utter shock and dismay, there was a photograph sitting on top of the book and it was a photograph of Tyler.

And, what’s crazy about this, is that the photo that was on top of the book I had just been reading was in a picture frame, hanging on my wall! So immediately spun my head around and looked in the direction the picture had previously just been, two minutes earlier, in the frame on the wall. And the picture frame was empty! No glass broke. Frame still on the wall, perfectly, like I had left it. But, the photograph was out of the picture frame and laying on top of the book!

And, ok…. So it hit me like a thunderbolt of lightening and that’s when I pieced it together that oh my God! It’s Tyler! It’s Tyler that’s here. And my children were all up in my room at this point. Arranging themselves on my bed. And, I just broke down and started bawling, uncontrollably and they didn’t know what was going on.

And I told them; guys look! Look at this picture, it was in this frame. And they were all in wonderment about it as well. And so from that day on, I connected the dots. And realized that it was actually him, trying to tell us that he was there with us. And I…. It still amazes me to this day that they can do stuff like that. That spirit can move things like that, that quickly. And, it’s just amazing.

So shortly after that, that I made the connection that it was indeed Tyler…. I’m gonna say maybe it was just a couple of days later. I was home alone again, because, the children were in school and it was broad daylight. It had to have been maybe eleven in the morning? Noon? Around noon. I Just happened to be walking through my downstairs of my house and I was walking into my dining room.  And, I heard like…. Well, at first I sensed a presence.

Ah, you know the feeling when somebody’s standing behind you? And you just know somebody’s there? So, I just got that feeling and so, I turned around and lo and behold! There is my deceased husband standing there, right behind me! In complete, full-bodied apparition. Just as real…. Ah, the only thing that was off about it, was, I could kind of see through him. Ok? And I knew he was dead. And, I was just [gasping], in complete shock!

And, the bottom of his feet…. I couldn’t really see his feet, up to about, up to about his ankles. It was gone. So his body, it just kind of started at around the ankle area and then up. So, I couldn’t…. So his feet area was kind of invisible. And he didn’t move. He stayed in the same spot. And I immediately, started bawling, uncontrollably. And, my first instinct, or reaction was to walk towards him, as to embrace him. And just start hugging him. And, as I did that he immediately, like put his hand out and said “No!” But, when I mean he said no, his mouth did not move at all.

Right! He tel….

He spoke to me telepathically. And, I understood what he was saying. So he said, in like a strong voice, “Stop! You can’t hug me, or I’ll disappear!” And, I didn’t know what that meant, ‘cause, I didn’t know anything about what, how ghosts manifest or things like that. I found…. I learned later from reading about it and studying it. And things like that. But, at the time I didn’t understand. So, he didn’t stay long…. Um, and I said to him, “I can’t believe you’re gone.”   I asked him why he was there? I’m like, why did you leave us? Which sounds horrible to say, to someone that died. Why did you leave us?

No, it’s not. That’s very normal

I didn’t mean to say it. It was just an in the moment, type of deal. And, he apologized. He kept saying he was so sorry for leaving us. He’s like, I didn’t mean to. He kept saying, I didn’t mean to leave you and Blake. I didn’t mean to leave you and Blake, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.  He kept saying he was so sorry. Which, you know, sounds really sad. I think his death was a shock to him too. I mean he died so suddenly and so tragically. I…. I think he could sense how sad and everything I was. And, he told me, “Everything’s going to be ok. I’m here with you.” And that’s pretty much all he said.

The one thing I did ask him, when he was in full body apparition was, can you come back to me? And, I don’t know why I asked that? I’m not sure why those words came out of my mouth. But, I said, “Can you come back to me?” And he, you know, was looking at me very, like sad and he said, “I can’t this time. I can’t come back to you this time.” That’s what he said. “Not this time, I can’t come back to you this time.” I later learned, what he meant by that, through reading things and seeing the psychic, of course. I learned what he meant by that.

So, one thing I would like to tell you guys is…. And this also comes into the story, which I thought was kind of strange. Tyler knew he was going to die. And, I’ll tell you why. When I was at his funeral, one…. The guy he worked with. So, his friend that he worked with and rode with everyday for work, told me at his funeral. He said; “Deb, I really need to tell you something that Tyler said to me about a week before he died.” And of course, he had my full attention. I’m like yeah?

He said, “Tyler came to work one morning and he was really shaken up, and like scared looking. And, concerned and nervous. And, I asked him what was wrong? He said, “I had this really strange dream last night.” And he goes “yeah? Tell me about it?” And Tyler told his friend, “Well, in my dream I was walking ‘round along…. I was walking down a road and both of my grandparents pulled up next to me in a blue Cadillac.” Well, both of his grandparents were deceased of course.  

“And, they rolled the window down and said “Hop in son. You look really tired!” And he…. To which he replied, “No. I’m good. I don’t feel tired. I don’t need a ride” And they said, “No. It’s time for you to come with us.” And then, with that, he woke up in a pool of sweat. “And, it really frightened him.” He said.  So, it shook him to his core and he told his friend about that.

The other thing that’s really amazing about that, that really makes me believe that somehow Tyler’s soul knew he didn’t have much more time left on earth, was a conversation him and I had about two weeks before he died? He brought me out onto the porch and he sat me down. And he was really serious. And he looked concerned. And he said, “Can I talk to you about something?” And I was like, yeah sure, anything. And he goes, “If anything every happens to me, can you promise me that you’ll always let my family see our son?” And, I was really taken aback by that, because, I’d always had a good relationship with his family and his, and everything. And I said to him “Where’s this coming from?” You know. “Why, would you say that to me?” 

And he goes, “I don’t know? I just have this feeling like something’s going to happen.” And he goes, “But, I don’t want you to worry, ‘cause, through the military I have like death benefits and so you and Blake would be taken care of if anything ever happened to me.” And he said, “I promise you that if anything happens to you, I will always make sure that your kids will see your family as well.” And, that was the whole conversation. 

And I was just… I didn’t even know what to think about that? I thought it was strange, but it kind of ties into, he must have known. Or, his soul must have known, somehow, that he didn’t have too much more time left on earth. Like he was preparing for it, or something? So, I was really shocked when his friend told me that at the funeral, of course, about that dream he had, so there’s that…

And actually that’s not uncommon. That’s not the first time I’ve heard of that, or as a nurse yourself, you would have come across it before as well.

Absolutely I have.

But to experience it in your own life, is a different thing.

It is. ‘Cause, at the time it’s happening you don’t connect the dots and you don’t put those things together until after the fact. So, hindsight’s twenty, twenty. So then after the tragedy happens you’re oh, that makes sense now! But, still its ah…. It’s, it’s just tragic.

It is.

So, lots of other things started happening quite quickly after I saw him in full-bodied apparition. Shortly after that our son Blake and his little sister Sophia were both getting ready for bed one night, brushing their teeth, like little kids do in the bathroom. They happened to be in my master bathroom while they were doing it. And we always…. It was an open door bathroom policy at our house. Let me tell you, ‘cause, kids just don’t let you be in a bathroom with the door closed

(laughing in background), no they don’t

And they’re beating it down, you know? So open door policy at our house for bathroom doors. And they were in there brushing their teeth. And little Sophia, my daughter Sophia was only three years old at this time. By this point Blake was six and Sophia was three. And all the kids knew. So, they’re brushing their teeth and I’m in my bedroom waiting for them to be finished, so I can read them as story before they went to bed. And Sophia came running into my bedroom. White as a sheet, eyes as big as a saucer and she was shaking uncontrollably and she kind of stuttered talking. ‘Cause, she couldn’t quite get her words out, she was so frightened.

And I said, oh my gosh honey, what’s wrong with you? And, at first I thought Blake had done something terrible to her. Did something bad to her in the bathroom. And I’m like “Honey, what’s wrong? Did Blake do something to you?” And she goes “Mom” in her tiny, little, three-year-old girl voice, shaking. “Mom, Mom. I thought you told me Tyler was dead?” Those were the words that came out of her mouth. And I said “Honey he did pass away. He’s in heaven.” And when I said that to her, she looked even more shocked and said; “Then why did I see him in the doorway. And, he waved at me Mom?”

And oh my gosh. My mouth dropped wide open. And then, of course, I had all these questions for her. So I’m questioning, interrogating this little three-year-old. “Tell me everything! Oh my gosh what did you see? What happened?” So, to the best of her three-year-old ability she said Blake did not see him, because he was not looking at the bathroom door, like she was. She said, she saw something and was done brushing her teeth. And Blake started brushing his teeth. And, she got down from her stool, looked at the door. And he was standing in the doorway of the bathroom. She told me what he was wearing. She said he had on a white t-shirt and blue, and like dark coloured blue jeans. He didn’t say anything to her, but he had a smile on his face, looking at her. And, I said “Then what did he do?” And, she said “After he noticed I was staring at him, he waved at me and turned and walked into your bedroom Mom.” She said she fully expected to walk into my bedroom and see him standing in there. Because, she saw him walk in there. So, I thought that was pretty profound. I mean, he was obviously showing himself to other people, in our home.

Ok, so the full bodied apparitions turned into little Blake, our son, having ah…. He started walking and talking in his sleep, after this. Him and Sophia had bunk beds, and they shared a bedroom that was close to me, ‘cause, they were little. You know? The bigger kids slept downstairs, but, Blake and Soph, because they were little shared a bedroom. Had bunk beds and their room was closest to me, upstairs. And Blake started doing these very odd things. But before I tell you what Blake started doing, I need to tell you about another visit we had from Blake’s dad Tyler.

One night, I had a dream. Where all of a sudden I was just trans…. Me and Blake both, transported to this beautiful world, which I now realize we were in heaven. Our souls actually went to heaven to have this conversation with Tyler. So, I’m holding Blake’s hand and we are suddenly in this church courtyard. I’m going to do my best to try and describe what it looked like to you. Imagine like, a carnival setting, where there’s different booths right next to each other, with lights that you see at night time parties that string across buildings, to illuminate the area that you’re having the gathering at, at night.  Like garden lights. Those were strung across, like this dirt road. But we were in a church courtyard. So think if like a spooky Halloween scene. But, it wasn’t spooky. The church was like black because the moon was illuminating behind the church. So the church looked dark. The there was this leafless, dead-looking tree. It just didn’t have leaves on it. So it was in the fall maybe? So that was also back lit with the moon. So that was the light from the moon coming down and the only other light illuminating the scene were those like, garden lights that were strung across.

And, Blake and I holding hands, walked over by one of these vendors, ah, booth things. And we just stood there and I was crying in the dream. And Blake was just holding my hand. And then we saw Tyler walking towards us and he looked me dead in the eyes, but didn’t say anything to me. But, I just felt all this love and like wrap around us. And, we just felt really loved and I was crying still and Tyler knelt down to be eye level with our son Blake and he said…. He used to call our son boy. He said, “Boy. What did your Daddy tell you to do for your Momma when she’s crying?” And Blake spoke and he said, “You told me to hug her.” That was it.  And then the dream was over and I woke up with tears still pouring down my face. It was absolutely real. I still had the tears down my face when I woke up. Such a beautiful…. Gosh, it was…. I don’t want people to think that because I described it as creepy. That’s what it looked like off to our left. But, it was beautiful, this church was. And there was no other people. Only us three in this dream.

Ok. So, I had that dream and then Blake started doing the most unusual things. He started getting up out of bed at night and coming to me, whenever I would cry. And what’s really strange about this is one night – at this time I wasn’t sleeping, my nerves were shot. I was so grief-stricken. Still bawling daily. I felt weak and I didn’t wanna cry in front of my children like that. So, I retreated to my basement and the laundry room to get all my emotions out. So my children weren’t seeing that during the day.

So, it’s three o’clock in the morning, during a week day. My kids are in bed they have school the next morning. And, there are zero lights on in the house and because we lived in the country, it was dark. There was nothing illuminating the inside of my house. The only light that was on in the house, was the laundry room that I was standing in, in the basement. So, picture this scene. I’m down there at three o’clock in the morning, with the dog at my feet. And, I’m bawling my eyes out, talking to myself, folding laundry. Folding tiny children’s underpants and mating socks and things like this at three in the morning.

And then I heard a noise and about jumped a mile high. I turned around and Blake was standing right behind me. He had walked through the entire house in pure darkness without turning on a light. And what’s strange about that is, the kid was deathly afraid of the dark. So for him to walk from the upstairs and make it all the way down to the lower level of the house is shocking, that he would not turn on a light.

So when I turned around and saw him, I mean I was absolutely startled, because, he literally just walked out of the darkness and came in there. I was like; “Oh my goodness baby, what are you doing down here?”  I’m like; “What woke you up honey?” And what he said shook me to my core. With his little baby voice, he said to me, when I asked him honey what are you dong out of bed? What are you doing down here? He looked me dead in my face and said; “My Daddy woke me up and told me to come down here and hug you, because, you were crying.” That’s what he said to me. His Daddy woke him up and told him to come and find me because I was crying.

Oh, that’s so beautiful.

And, I just…. I mean, that made me cry worse. And, I got him back up into bed and made sure that he was ok, and then he fell right back to sleep.So, the next morning when it’s time for breakfast and I’m getting the kids ready for school. I said to Blake, “Honey do you feel tired, because you were up last night and you come and talk to Momma?” I’m like, “How are you feeling? Are you ok?” He looked at me and gave me the strangest look and said; “What are you talking about Mom?” I’m like “Last night when you came down into the laundry room. “No. I didn’t do that!”  He had no…. He had no memory of doing that whatsoever. So then I just stopped talking, ‘cause, he didn’t even realize he had done that.

The dream night that Blake and I were both in and his father spoke to him in that church courtyard, the next morning after I had that dream, during breakfast, Blake said to me, “I had a really strange dream last night Mom. My Dad was in it and he told me to hug you when you’re crying.So Blake said to me, he had the exact same dream that I had. And, that’s when I knew that him and my souls were together and we had astral travelled to heaven, to be with Tyler. That’s when I knew without a doubt that we were both there and it was very much real. After that first incident with Blake sleepwalking, that happened quite often after that. He would do it every other day or so. And you know, I’m not ashamed to say I cried a lot. People grieve differently.

Yes

But he did it every time. I was shocked. I didn’t think this kid was getting enough sleep. He would get up and come and find me. So Blake had also shared with me. He said to me, just in passing one day, just nonchalantly he said; “Yeah, my Dad talks to me at night.” And then he just like, walked into the other room. Like wait a minute! I’ve got more questions. Come back here! He just just nonchalantly said it in passing. “Yeah, my Dad comes and talks to me at night.” And I’m like woah…. Wait …. What?

So I had asked him to elaborate on that and he had told me that his dad would like, rub his head and touch his back and tell him he was alright. So, he didn’t get into too much detail, he would just always repeat that his dad would say. “I love you. You’re alright.” And he would rub his face and rub his back. Which I thought was very, very sweet. I mean, I believed my son when he told me that. I didn’t think he would make that up, or lie about it.

No. Why would he?

Exactly. So then, now it’s about Christmas time. So maybe the beginning of December. Here’s another incident where it was just unmistakable, that I absolutely knew it was Tyler doing this.  All the kids were in bed. I had last minute Christmas gift wrapping to do, as I am sure all parents can relate with.  So again I was up and two, three o’clock in the morning. All the kids were sleeping. Trying to wrap last minute presents, ‘cause, Christmas was coming, like very soon. Some of the gifts were quite large and I set them on a large farmhouse table. I mean, I had a big family and so my dining room table would fit ten people around it. It had ten chairs. It was a giant table. So I set this giant load of Christmas presents, with the wrapping paper and everything, in the middle of my table. Nothing was off kilt. Nothing was…. It was all stacked on top of each other nice, to where nothing would just naturally fall. So I’m like oh shoot, I need to go and grab the tape and left the room real quick. So, I no more had set the stuff down on my dining room table and go back into the kitchen to grab the tape to wrap the stuff with and I hear this thunderous crash on the floor. It made the dog jump a mile high. I jumped! I thought oh good grief, what is this noise? I…. I thought something had fallen over? Like what the heck? I mean it was such a loud crash. So, I went running back into the dining room.

My dining room table is now empty! There’s nothing on the top of my dining room table at all! I look over into my living room and all the gifts are in a complete separate room, all over the floor! All over the floor. I literally stood there for ten minutes with my mouth agape. Looking back at the table. Looking at the things on the floor, back at the table. Wondering how that is physically possible to have picked up every single thing that is on that table and throw it into another room? I mean, I was in shock. I thought what in the heck? Nothing was broken thank goodness, but it scared the living daylights out of me!

That would be pretty scary actually.

Hmm hmm, yep. So it’s kind of amazing that spirit can physically manipulate things like that and move things around. Like, it showed the true power of what they can actually do. I’ve had people say to me, I don’t think that was your deceased husband, ‘cause, why would he thrown things around? And I keep having to defend myself, because, NO that is not a different spirit! NO that is not demonic! I KNEW it was my deceased husband. He wanted me to know that I was there with him and maybe that was the only way at the time that he could tell me ok I’m here with you, so I’m just going to knock this stuff off on the floor. You know what I mean? Like it really bothered me that….

Something you can’t ignore

Yes. He didn’t do it in a malicious way. Nothing was broken. It did make a loud noise that scared the heck out of me! But it…. But, you know how you get the feeling of something’s bad, or something’s good? I never got a bad feeling. When things were being moved around my house I never had a sense of fear. It always felt like it was a happy thing. It wasn’t never a scary thing. I never felt like impending doom from it. Or that it was bad, or evil in any way. And so it upsets me when people say, well I don’t think it was demonic. NO! Regular spirits that are not demonic can move things around your house.

Well, I personally, myself, don’t believe in demons. I’ve been a medium, clairvoyant my entire life and I’ve never ever come across such thing.

Experienced them?

No. I’ve seen angry earth spirit. They can be very, very angry, but you know some if they haven’t past over and they were nasty in life, they’ll still be nasty in death. Their basic character doesn’t change. But, I think people tend to use the term demonic as a ‘catch-all’ thing and it’s very religious based. Fear based thing. And of course, people work within their knowing. You know? So if that’s what they know, that’s what they believe, that’s the term that they’ll use.

Well to me, I knew it wasn’t demonic or something bad. I knew immediately it was Tyler. My beloved, first husband Tyler. That was trying to make me know that he was there with me at that time. Now, I’d like to share with you one of the most touching things during this whole year and a half his spirit was in our farm-house, that happened to me.  And, I will never forget it for as long as I live, because, it was so warm and touching and loving. It brings me great comfort knowing that he did this for me.

Ok, so I have to tell you guys that at this point I was completely broken down. I had to stop working as a nurse, because, I was physically ill. I had something wrong with me, that the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. It caused me to have a  great amount of pain. Plus, I was grieving. Plus, I had zero coping mechanisms. Plus, I was crying so much and I was overall in really poor health. So, by this time it’s after Christmas we’re into the next year, two-thousand and five.

And I moved, just for my own comfort, I moved all of my children out of their rooms and I had a large bedroom. I moved my two younger children’s bunk beds into my room. And then I brought two other beds for my two oldest children in my room. So ultimately at this point, by January, or February of two-thousand and five I was really ill. And, crying a lot, sleeping a lot and barely functioning as a human being. Doing my best to take care of my children and try and keep my house functioning, with my entire world falling apart around me. So all of my children essentially moved into my bedroom with me. So, we all slept in the same room together and that comforted me. It made me feel safe and it’s what I needed at the time.

So one particular night and I don’t know why we had this sleeping arrangement, but my two eldest children were on the floor instead of in beds. And both of my younger children, Blake and Sophia were on the top bunk, of the kids bunk bed set and for whatever reason that escapes me to this day, I was sleeping on the bottom bunk of this bunk bed that belonged to my children. Instead of my own big, giant, king-sized bed. Maybe to be closer to them? Or maybe that’s just where I had fallen asleep, I’m not sure. But, on this particular night, the TV was still on, because, we had all just fallen asleep, with the TV in my bedroom still on, so the only light in the room, was the TV illuminating the rest of the room.

I was crying uncontrollably. I mean, I just had tears just pouring down my face, because, I was in a great amount of pain and just…. Just grieving so badly. No one was really helping me deal with my grief. I didn’t have many friends or family that checked up on me. Things like that, so I felt pretty isolated. So I was crying, ‘cause, my children were sleeping and all of a sudden I felt something touch my face. Like push down on my face. And, at first I thought my hair was touching my face or something…. So, imagine me laying flat on my back, in my bed and I start touching my forehead, like, what is that? You know, is my hair in my face? Because, I felt something wipe the tears off of my cheeks. And it felt warm. It wasn’t cold. It felt warm. And, then it happened again! So I just kind of like froze and didn’t move, because, I didn’t comprehend what was happening. And then all of a sudden, I felt this something lay on top of me. Like, completely lay on top of me. And, it felt heavy. And it pushed me down on the bed. It felt comforting and warm.

So, there’s this thing laying on top of me and I could feel it like moving around! And, I didn’t say anything and I’m looking. I don’t see anything, but, I absolutely feel it on top of me and I immediately knew it was my husband. And, he kissed me right on my lips. He kissed me a couple of times, right on my lips. And I was just dumbfounded, because, I had no idea that spirit could even do that! And, I know now why he did it, because, he tried to comfort me. I was so distraught with emotion and could not stop my uncontrollable crying

Oh Deb.

I know that’s why he did it. I know that’s why he came to me and laid on me. Not in like, a sexual way. It was, hey I’m here! It’s me touching you. And, he just kept like, caressing my face. And, I stopped crying and I calmed down. At some point I ended up rolling over on my side and he absolutely stayed right behind me. With his arms wrapped around my front. So I was the little spoon. Know what I mean? He was cradling me in his arms and I actually fell asleep. And that was the first time in many, many months, that I actually slept really good and sound. It was the best night of sleep I had, had, in a very, very long time. So right after that happened, I felt energized the next day, or two actually. And, I didn’t have pain when I woke up the next day, also. Which I found very profound about that experience.

A couple of days after that again it was in the middle of the night and all of us are in my master bedroom. All the children are sleeping and my oldest daughter…. And at this point, I think she was twelve? My oldest daughter, named Amanda was about twelve years old at this point in time. She was laying at the foot of my bed. Something woke me up. I’m pretty sure his spirit said hey wakeup! You know? Telepathically, he’s speaking to me. Hey I’m here, wake up! So something woke me up in the middle of the night. Imagine my shock to look over…. And, my bedroom was completely dark. My TV was not on this night. So my room was being illuminated by this green, glowing orb that was the size of a beach ball. And it was floating over the top of my dresser.

So, it’s illuminating light throughout my entire bedroom and I’m just staring at it, like oh my god I can’t believe what my eyeballs are looking at! And, it didn’t manifest into anything else. It just kind of hovered there above my dresser. And I didn’t know what to think? So, my first instinct was too immediately wake my daughter up, because, she was the closest person to me. I must have scared the heck out of my child, because, I literally grabbed her head, out of a dead sleep and turned her head in the direction of where the orb was, floating above my dresser. And I started screaming, “Amanda look! Amanda look! Do you see that? Do you see that?”

And, she was kind of fighting me because I woke her up in such an abrupt, such an abrupt way. And she’s going, “Mom, what’s going on? What’s happening?” And I have her head turned right to the orb floating above my dresser and it was…. It was like a light coloured green. It was more white on the inside and on the outside it was green and it illuminated my entire bedroom. And it just kind of floated there and it was the size of a beach ball. I’ve never seen anything like it since that night. I’ve never seen anything like that in my entire life since that night. And, I knew it was him!

I knew it was him, because, it felt very loving and comforting. And my daughter Amanda said, “Yes! I see it! Yes. I see it.”  So she saw it too, which also brings validation that I wasn’t nuts and hallucinating things in the middle of the night. You know what I mean? So as soon as she saw it, she jumped up into my bed and was very frightened. And, as she jumped up into my bed it just kind of dissipated, to where the ball kept shrinking down. Then it was out of sight. So, that’s how it left. Was, just kind of like, this ball of light just got smaller and smaller until it was no longer there. And then, that feeling of like, love and comfort left, when the orb left with it.

In, I think, two-thousand and six – so now it’s another year later, we ended up moving out of that farmhouse. But before we moved out, his spirit was gone! To this day, I’m not sure why? The activity stopped, ‘cause, I never like had a discussion with Tyler. He never appeared to me and said “Hey, I think you guys are ok now.” Or that never happened. He was just there one day, and then, nothing. Gone the next!

So, that green orb you saw – his spirit energy, that was the last manifestation of his energy that you ever felt, or ever saw?

Yes, hmm.

So that was basically him saying goodbye.

See, because, I didn’t know then as much information as I currently know now. Because, I’ve obviously read about it and did my homework and read about all this stuff. But then, I didn’t know about it.

Of course.

So it haunted me for a long time as to why he left? It saddened me even more. Like, it comforted me to know he was there and then for him to be all of a sudden be gone and me not understanding why he left. It also made me sad and made me worry, because, was he earthbound because he died so tragically and didn’t realize he was dead? So I had those thoughts going through my head and I felt horrified about it, like, why didn’t he cross over? Was he not able to cross over? Questions nobody could answer for me and I worried for his soul. Oh my gosh, is he trapped here? Is he here because he wants to be?

So that haunted me for a long time. I wasn’t sure why he hadn’t crossed right over? I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Wondering why he was earthbound like that? And, haunting our house essentially. To comfort Blake and I. I…. I don’t know? He left. So why we were still in the farmhouse, we were there for probably another year after the hauntings completely stopped. So from all that activity I described to you, to absolutely nothing. No more movements or sounds. We didn’t see him anymore. Things immediately stopped being misplaced in the house. All of it stopped. None of that happened anymore and we moved out of that farmhouse about a year later.

I wanna skip forward to two-thousand and sixteen, ‘cause, between two-thousand and six when we moved out of that farmhouse to two-thousand and fifteen, I didn’t have any paranormal experiences happen. And, I was quite upset about it, because, I honestly wanted them. Like I wanted validation of him, knowing he was around us and didn’t get it. So I felt kind of angry, displaced, upset. Not know what had happened to his soul? Why he wasn’t around any more? I had lots of questions like how does all this work when you’re a soul? Things like that. And I still didn’t know the answer to the question. Why he said to me, “I can’t come back to you this time.” I didn’t know what that meant and that haunted me, ‘cause, I didn’t understand why he said that to me.

Skip forward to two-thousand-sixteen and inbetween this time…. Oh! I was reading everything I could get my hands on. So, ‘cause, I had so many questions myself, I had always been curious about seeing a psychic. I never sought one out, I always thought oh they’re always phoney…. I just didn’t really…. A lot of them are scam artists and just want your money. A friend of mine said “Hey, I’m going to be going to this psychic group reading later. Are you interested in going with me?” and I thought oh wow! Hmmm ok. And, I was skeptical. I was like; ”Sure. I’ll give it a shot.”

I rode with my friend to this psychic group meeting in two-thousand and sixteen and I wanted to test this lady. I was being a bit of a skeptical smart-ass. And, I actually wanted to debunk this person as being like a fraudster, a scammer, or something! So prior to me going to this group meeting with this psychic, whom I had never met before, I started talking out loud, in my house, to Tyler. And, I said to him; “Tyler, please if this lady is the real deal, please come through to her and I want you to specifically tell her about my ring.

The first year he and I were together for Valentine’s day, he took me to a store. A jewelry store and brought me the most beautiful, heart ring with my birthstone in it. And, I’ve never taken it off since the day he brought it for me. I’ve never taken it off. It never comes off my finger. So I told him, if it’s really you please tell this psychic about this ring and then I’ll know it’s you for sure. So, when I was on my way to this reading I slipped that ring off my finger and stuck it in my pocket. And, I also took the photograph I have of him out of my wallet that I carry around with me. I took his photo out of my wallet and stuck it in my pocket as well. So my ring is bare…. My finger is bare and I had the ring in my pocket.

 I walked into this lady’s house and this very strange looking girl walked up to me. She was in her mid-twenties. Had pink hair. A piercing in her eyebrow, I believe and maybe one in her lip. Tattoos on her arms and stuff. And she shook my hand. Didn’t ask what my name was. She’s like; “Hi. Welcome. Nice to meet you.” She was greeting every person who came into the house that way. I had no idea when I shook her hand that she was the psychic ok?

I had thought to myself, wow, she’s eccentric. She’s got some pretty wild coloured hair and you know…. And, then I found my way over to a seat and it begun. So, I’m sitting there. There was maybe six of us in that room, that paid to be in this group reading. And, she started talking and the first spirit that came through to her was for another person. And so we all just sat there in sheer wonderment that what she was possibly going to say about this person’s loved one. And, it was amazing. The person that came through for the other person in the reading was just spot on. And the person was crying their eyes out. And her reading for that person lasted maybe twenty minutes. And we were all just silent, listening to every word this woman was saying. Before she started the session, she kind of explained to all of us a brief history about herself. Then she kind of explained to us how her abilities worked and how spirit comes through to her. So, I was glad she explained it to us, I mean, she was very knowledgeable.

So, I’m sitting there, not expecting to be called on whatsoever, because, mind you I’m being skeptical. And, all of a sudden she looks around the room and said, “Is there a Deb here?” She’s looking around and she goes; “Which one of you is Deb?” And I kind of looked and went, oh, she’s talking about me! Mind you, none of us told her our names. None of us told her our names. She actually told us not to tell her our names.

So, I was shocked that she said, “Is there a Deb here?”

“Oh? That’s me”

And, she said…. Right away she said, “I have a very handsome, male coming through for you and his presence is strong.” She said, he was trying to interrupt her when she was giving the reading to the other person. Like he was trying to push the other spirit out of the way as he had so much to say to me. And, I was very flattered by that.

She began talking to me and she said “Oh wow” Like she described what he looked like and sure enough, she told me what he was wearing the last time I ever saw him! Ok? So that brought validation. And I’m just listening to her, nodding my head, going hmmm, ok, hmm hmm, while she spoke. So I wasn’t going to feed her any information that she could possibly use and she started saying things like; “Ok. This is really strange, because, he’s showing me like a baby. He’s rocking this baby in his arms. Telling me that this is your baby and it’s a boy. You know what I’m talking about?” And, I’m like woah! Umm yeah…. “Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.”

And she said; “Well, he wants you to know that he knows all about your son that you have. And that he actually met his soul before he came to you.” And I was blown away that she said that. That Tyler in heaven met my son’s soul before he came to me. So she said that. And, I was like ok, she’s on a roll. I’m thinking, ok, she probably knows what she’s talking about. Mind you again, I’m thinking – talk about the ring. Talk about the ring.

So, the next thing she says to me is; “Ok, this is strange. I don’t know what he’s trying to say to me, but, he’s showing me a ring floating in the ocean.” She didn’t say floating in the ocean, she said; “Usually, when spirit show me items, they have it in their hands. But, he’s showing me a ring, but it’s like floating in mid-air and I don’t know what to take from that. Do you know what I’m talking about?” And, oh my gosh! At this point I busted down and started bawling uncontrollably.   

So, not only did he tell her about the ring I’m wearing, the one I wanted him to talk about and shoved in my pocket. He, also told her about my wedding ring that got lost in the ocean in Maui, Hawaii, the day after we got married. That’s why he was showing her my wedding ring floating in the dang ocean. I lost it a day after we got married. Like, that’s bad luck to lose your wedding ring, you know, the day after you get married. We had went swimming in the ocean and went in with the ring and came out, it was off my finger. Gone! Could never find it. He was showing her the ring and I’m like it makes perfect sense to me it’s like floating in mid-air, ‘cause, it’s literally in the ocean somewhere!  

So, that shocked me. I started crying at that point. She said to me, “He keeps wanting me to tell you, how sorry he is that he left you. How sorry he is. He didn’t mean to leave you or Blake. He didn’t mean to leave you.” He…. And that’s exactly what he said to me, when I saw him in full body apparition. And, then she said to me – and this is what answered my question that I had when he said to me “I can’t come back to you this time.” She said to me; “He’s saying to me that you asked if he could come back to you. And he can’t. He wants me to tell you, he has things to do in heaven and he cannot return back to earth in this lifetime.”

And I was…. I mean, you could have knocked me over with a feather at that point in time. And, I’m grabbing the tissues out of the box, wiping my tears and snot coming out of my nose, ‘cause, I was crying so hard. I’m thinking to myself, how could this girl possibly know these things? Then she said to me; “He wants me to tell you, that not only is he always with you, but, he’s also with your children as well.” My two older children, do not belong to Tyler. They belong to a different man. He told this psychic, “He even watches your daughter in Germany.” Woah! How could this woman know that my eldest daughter lives in Germany! Ok? So, at that point I knew this girl was the absolute real deal.  

She said to me; “OK, he’s talking.  He’s got so much to say, hold on, I’m listening to what he’s saying.” And then she looked at me and she like, popped up. And she like, had this shocked look on her face and was like “Oh my gosh! He just told me you saw him! He’s spoken to you! “she’s, “Oh my gosh. You’re a sensitive aren’t you? ‘Cause, you’re an empath! He’s telling me that you’ve actually seen him and he’s spoken to you!”

And, I’m like woah…. She blew my mind, like right out of the water! I’m like, “Yes. Yes, I have actually seen him.” And she said; “He’s telling me to tell you….” And this is important Marianne, this is important. She said, “He wants me to tell you, the reason why he was in your house is because he wanted you to know, without a doubt, that your soul lives on past death. And that you two would be together again in heaven.”

And, that’s all I needed to hear. Complete and full validation about any fear I had of God being real, or heaven being real, or anything like that. She said the sole purpose of him hanging around earth and was with Blake and I for a year and a half was because he wanted me to know without a shadow of a doubt, that your soul does not die. It lives on it, just goes to a different plane.

Yes. Exactly.

And I try to educate people about that and tell people. Even atheists. So she wasn’t done with me. He had lots to say to her about me. She told me a few things that he was with me on, like a few special occasions that she said he was with us on. Which were true, like birthday parties – things like this. Vacation. He was there with us. And, then she said to me, “Oh gosh. He’s really worried about you, because, you…. Oh! You’re not sleeping are you? You’re in a lot of pain. You don’t sleep very well do you? He’s telling me that you are up all night long and that you hurt and you don’t sleep.”

I’m like, yep. And, then this is profound. The very next thing she said to me was; “Oh he’s telling me – Tyler’s telling me that when you’re awake in the middle of the night you’re in your living room, on the couch watching criminal minds at three o’clock in the morning…. And, he wants me to tell you he’s with you, but, he’s not watching the TV, he’s looking at you.”

Now Marianne, let me tell you what’s profound about that and amazing about that. Is – that show, criminal minds, was not in existence when Tyler was on earth. Tyler died in two-thousand and four and that show, never became a show until two years later!  Like in two-thousand and six. So for him to tell her, this is the exact show you’re watching at three o’clock in the morning, while you’re suffering from painful insomnia, he’s there with you. And, let me tell you. I’ve never doubted this girl’s abilities after that. There’s no way that anybody would know that about me. I live alone. Who would know that I was awake at three o’clock in the morning? Binge watching criminal minds on TV. You know? And, he came through and told her that.

I really want to thank you so much for sharing your raw and personal story with my listeners and myself. It’s certainly moved me to tears and….

I know, I saw you crying. I know, I choked up a few times myself in there.

yeah, and um, I felt like at this time in, in…. At this time in the world, that people more than ever, um, with all the fear and all the pain that’s surrounding this pandemic that we’re dealing with, that it’s important for people to understand – those who’ve lost loved ones in this pandemic and those who may lose loved ones. That life continues on. That this is not the end. And, that our loved ones are around us and that they try so hard to let us know that they’re ok. And, that the end of this physical body isn’t the end of our existence. So, I’m really incredibly grate, grateful to you for sharing your pain. And, your rawness and your experiences with my listeners, so that they can hear and maybe take some comfort from that in these trying times. So Deb….

That’s what I hope too. I hope that some of your listeners, or all of your listeners take away something from it. And maybe my story matches theirs, or they’ve had similar experiences and this somehow validates for them that in fact, it is real. And I hope that it brings them a comfort, just like you. That’s why I did this. Because, I would like to help people with their grief and sadness and the questions they have about death and what happens for our loved one’s after we die. So, I hope that they take away, what you and I both know to be true. That our spirit does not die, like you said. That we do live on and that they are always with us.

Absolutely! Debs, thank you so much. I’m really grateful and I appreciate your time today.

I am very grateful to my guest today, Deb. For firstly responding to my reaching out to her and secondly for agreeing to share such personal pain, but, such loving and tender reassurances from Tyler that he continues to exist and that his love for her and all of his loved ones continues on, despite no longer being in a physical body.

This is the message that we both wanted you all, who are currently grieving for lost ones from whatever reason, and for those of you who may lose loved ones in the coming times. That the end of the physical body is not the end of our existence, that life definitely continues on, albeit in a different form and that the love, that these ones we have lost have for us, does not simply stop once they leave the physical plane of existence… it continues on and our loved ones are only ever a thought away. We both hope this episode will bring you some comfort and reassurance in these uncertain times we are all living through

Our bumper music today is called Private reflection by Kevin MacLeod. Licensed under creative commons, for more information check out this episode’s page on the podcast website at www.walkingtheshadowlands.com

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• Private Reflection Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License, http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/